Paddy as a cupcake baker

A comission by Simon Marks as payback for his outing as Austin Powers

Paddy as a Cupcake Baker

Paddy, so cool and so manly,
Who’d think he’d be rather handy,
At beautiful piping,
And lovely pink icing,
And cupcakes all covered in candy?

He pretended to act unaware,
Of his unique and particular flair.
What sort of a man,
Bakes his muffins by hand?
Oh, it’s just not a macho affair.

Go back to swim club!

A very, very cheeky one for @lisami75 on why she needs to get back to her swimming masters

Your freestyle is seemingly lacking,
In need of professional backing,
Go to your masters,
Start swimming faster,
And stop your perpetual slacking!

Get Fit Quick!

A wee one for the lovely @emmarush on the frustration of how keeping fit makes you even MORE hungry

Emma, she ran like a winner,
She cycled to make herself thinner,
But training a-plenty
Makes bellies empty
You gobble up double your dinner.

For Brian who cycles

For @brianhc who encountered a car whilst cycling.  Thankfully unhurt!
Brian who Cycles

Brian did suffer a tumble,
The vehicular bonnet did crumple-
The car was no match,
Not even a scratch,
But deserving a rant and a grumble

For Gav

By request for the lovable Gavin, a key memeber of our PLOD team who should realise that he’s more capable than most at such things!

Gavin was quite prone to doubin’
His savvy at climbing the mountain,
He’s strong and could boast,
That he’s tougher than most,
And would likely excel at our outin’

Caroline

A wee one by request for the marvellous Caroline, a budding triathlete who has signed herself up for an Ironman next year.

Caroline was quite sporty minded,
All of her running – she timed it,
Her swimming went well,
Her cycling swell,
She put all her muscle behind it!

A few for Tracy

For @karrotsoup, by request.  I wrote the knickers one first, thought it wasn’t appropriate and rewrote it but both are going up!  Didn’t get any pics of knickers, just the tatts.

Tracy

There once as a woman called Tracy,
Her knickers were ever so lacy,
With her frills and her bows,
And red pantyhose,
Each pair was considered quite racy.
There once as a woman called Tracy
Her tattoos were ever so racy,
Her stars and balloons
Made other folks swoon
Though we thought her designs rather tasty!
           

Steven

One I crafted for the ever lovely @stevebiscuit some time ago.

Steven disliked PHP,
No challenge for someone like he,
Pains in his head,
His fingers were dead,
And the pay was as bad as could be.

Web Developers

A cheeky one for @barrymcgee who requested a poem for web developers :D

How awful would living be like,
With the internet makers on strike?
No Youtube or banking
Or sitting up…er…making cakes for church sales 
And quagmires of dodgy fan sites.

No e-learning, webzines or blogs,
If these guys are out of a job.
No Facebook or news,
Or Wiki perused,
There’d be no entertaining the mob.

Shah

For the strange but amazing Shah who was keen on the parties, less keen on the lectures.
Shah

There once was a man called Shahzad,
His colleagues all thought him quite mad,
He danced ‘til he dropped,
That man only stopped,
When sleeping through lectures he had.

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