A limerick about them pesky students for the wonderful @kyleflanigan, by request.

Students please go to your classes,
Stop holding those riotous clashes,
Those hours spent in marching,
The government’s charging-
Are paid for by everyone’s taxes.

Arsenic based DNA

For the usually sporty @brianhc who wanted a sciencey poem on arsenic based DNA.  I demand you read some of my other science poems here here and here.

Poor arsenic he felt it unfair,
Electrons, he had but three spare,
He was soon turned away,
When god made DNA,
From carbon’s four lovely lone pairs.


Lisa does Cyclocross

A poem by request for the lovely @lisami75 about her branch into cyclocross.

Her cycling gets ever bolder,
Now the winter is wetter and colder
Forsaking the wheels,
To run through the fields
With her bike slung out over her shoulder

If she’s looking for mud well she’s got it
If you’re looking the bike she’s just bought it.
This sport is confusing,
What rules are they using?
If she’s looking for reason, she’s lost it.



Mark’s bike stunt.

A three verse one for Mark, who spent a lunch-break planning how to take his bike to the skies.

Mark had developed a plan
To cycle as fast as he can
The roads were too slow
To the sky he would go
Belfast’s airborne, cycling man.

His bike would be towed by a car,
To seventy-plus miles per hour,
The subject released,
His speed would increase,
With pedals providing the power.

A rocket propelling his flight,
His helmet so flat and so light,
He’d ride at mach 5,
‘Til barely alive,
Fit an oxygen tank to his bike!

Christmas Sweets for Barbs

A wee poem by request for @barbsrad, all about Christmas Sweets :D


It’s time for the Christmas indulgence,
Eating pudding ’til filled with repugnance,
Mince pies and eggnog.
Chocolaty yule-log
Munching truffles with growing reluctance.


The second in a series of celly poems for Kim.

Be careful when using your trypsin
It splits all proteins it sits in
Adding too much
Will wrecks your results
Your substrate with too many snips in.

Calcium Imaging

One of a series for the queen of cells, Kim!

Our calcium waves oscillating,
The E-T-G-A is chelating,
Fura-2 can be seen,
It’s glowing bright green,
Oh look at that light emanating!

Cell Division

The last in a series of three sciency poems for Kim!

Do you know that your cell is dividing?
Your chromsomes – look – are aligning,
The checkpoints are passed,
Mitosis at last!
With cyclins providing the timing.

Requests for Christmas

Currently taking requests for limericks for christmas cards and gift tags and whatnot – short, long, personal, cheeky, fun, sentimental whatever  :)


Your gift card is lacking some glee,
Your e-card as dull as can be
When you need a rhyme,
Or a few funny lines
Just send the requirements to me!

Noel documenting things

I seem to be inundated with requests for poems for overworked people.  Without further ado….

There once was a young man called Noel,
He typed himself into a hole,
Working the clock,
To write up the doc,
There’s so little left of his soul.

Eyes dotted and T’s were all crossed,
He’ll do it no matter the cost,
But working so drastic,
One turns psychopathic
His mind irrevocably lost.

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